Ever wonder what it’s like inside the mind of a genius? Well, now you can take a peek without even getting your Top-Siders wet. In fact, you don’t need feet at all, just opposable thumbs --- totally optional --- in order to read Jeff Kreisler’s debut book, “Get Rich Cheating
Kreisler’s premise is simple: “…the goal of life is to make money; the means don’t matter.” The author argues that hard work is for chumps and that “economic mobility is more myth than reality.” Therefore, the smart economic actor will break every rule, take every shortcut, swindle every grandmother and rip-off every lemonade stand, not to mention ford every stream, Maria.
What a breath of fresh air. Thank Nietzsche, somebody finally said it. Take that, Joe “the Plumber,” and your little dream too!
Reading "Get Rich Cheating" assures that you will spend several very profitable hours exploring the rain forest of Kreisler's mind: wandering under the opaque canopy, marveling at the lush vegetation, grilling the exotic fauna and drinking from the effluent of his very fertile mind.
Lesser mortals (with relatively puny intellects) might argue weakly that America’s historic economic success required self-restraint based on individual conscience and objective morality grounded in the Judeo-Christian ethos. Kreisler eschews such quaint notions as woefully naïve and hopelessly outdated or is it vice-versa?
Kreisler writes in a breezy style like an F-5 tornado. As an author, Kreisler is like Mo from the Three Stooges to your Curly: he reaches out, slaps your face, tickles your chin, grabs you by the ear and gives you a wedgie.
"Get Rich Cheating" provides scads of examples which are assiduously researched and by assiduous I mean that he fishes in the deep streams of cynicism from the darkness of the Internet serving up only the most outrageous detritus that supports his premise. In many ways, it is masterful piece of legal writing.
Rush Limbaugh has said that “the world is governed by the aggressive use of force” and Kreisler proves that here by aggressively bending every incidence of human malfeasance to support his argument. Rush Limbaugh is a piker compared to Kreisler. Kreisler is what Rush Limbaugh wishes he could be.
“Get Rich Cheating” is not just a book, it’s a truncheon, and an oddly phallic one, which Kreisler swings as he parades down the avenues of American hypocrisy like a lobotomized Holden Caufield and by lobotimized, I mean freed from all personal morality.
“Get Rich Cheating” is enormously stimulating the same way a year and a half in lockup with an ex-linebacker convicted of sexual assault would be stimulating. “Get Rich Cheating” is also wildly insulting, in the most endearing way. What's more, Get Rich Cheating is oddly satisfying, like a beat down by a beautiful, leather-clad dominatrix. How many ways may I liken thee?
If the nitrogen-rich content isn’t enough to convince you to buy “Get Rich Cheating,” consider this: Kreisler is an over-achiever’s wet-dream. Kreisler went to Exeter, Princeton and the University of Virginia Law School, he also wrote for Comedy Central’s Indecision 2008 and is Executive Director of the parody, My Wall Street Journal. He is the avatar of the world of himself.
If you have gone to any of these schools, or know, in your heart-of-hearts, that your life would be better if you had --- and you know it would be --- you must buy "Get Rich Cheating". Got it?
“Get Rich Cheating” is jaundiced, dark and snarky and those are its good points; the kind of writing that Keith Olberman aims for yet can never hope to achieve. In the God-is-Dead tradition of Nietzsche, Kreisler is superman.
My advice: screw the Xanax, just read, nay, just buy "Get Rich Cheating."
For more info: Check out my other posts at Miami Comedy Examiner, Have something to say, let me know at Miami.Comedy@gmail.com.
